So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize