Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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