That's intense
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize