there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
