Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize