we have pet lesbian snakes
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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