Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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