can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime