Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.

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  (845): If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt. http://tfl.nu/ayuf
  Replies (147) Good night (1847) Bad night (5590)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  P.S. I can't hear my feet

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  (972): P.S. I can't hear my feet http://tfl.nu/z4b9
  Replies (21) Good night (4215) Bad night (691)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo

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  (201): One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo http://tfl.nu/izrq
  Replies (16) Good night (4827) Bad night (737)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  doooooooo herrrrrrrrr

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I'm out of practice. be my yoda

  (314): View more from Missouri

  put your penis in her you must.

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  (314): doooooooo herrrrrrrrr (504): I'm out of practice. be my yoda (314): put your penis in her you must. http://tfl.nu/ti1e
  Replies (58) Good night (18259) Bad night (1071)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose

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  (717): she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose http://tfl.nu/p9h0
  Replies (32) Good night (13274) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"

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  (862): he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!" http://tfl.nu/rt63
  Replies (15) Good night (5202) Bad night (1466)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently

  (540): View more from Virginia

  and skipped dinner

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  (540): 3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently (540): and skipped dinner http://tfl.nu/igda
  Replies (22) Good night (1155) Bad night (4547)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.

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  (519): I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning. http://tfl.nu/ffy0
  Replies (4) Good night (3654) Bad night (534)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.

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  (269): P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema. http://tfl.nu/a51s
  Replies (8) Good night (686) Bad night (1367)
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  (107): View more from

  That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.

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  (107): That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog. http://tfl.nu/02iq
  Replies (8) Good night (1267) Bad night (968)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.

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  (513): Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude. http://tfl.nu/aac3
  Replies (6) Good night (2456) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.

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  (937): so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency. http://tfl.nu/1ixd
  Replies (3) Good night (1966) Bad night (501)
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  (457): View more from

  Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though

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  (457): Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though http://tfl.nu/vzyv
  Replies (8) Good night (1266) Bad night (499)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?

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  (702): Would I waste your time for mediocre porn? http://tfl.nu/88ga
  Replies (2) Good night (629) Bad night (266)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me

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  (732): I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me http://tfl.nu/tpku
  Replies (3) Good night (1149) Bad night (490)

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