this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
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We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday