im holly from the hills drunk
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You should frame my arrest warrant.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice