Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"

  (1-415): View more from California

  What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.

  (415): View more from California

  He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."

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  (415): And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!" (1-415): What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy. (415): He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie." http://tfl.nu/chbe
  Replies (27) Good night (1163) Bad night (9856)
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  (323): View more from California

  If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"

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  (323): If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina" http://tfl.nu/xi2d
  Replies (19) Good night (2932) Bad night (1057)
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  (760): View more from California

  i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.

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  (760): i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel. http://tfl.nu/n5cq
  Replies (177) Good night (5236) Bad night (5072)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks

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  (320): Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks http://tfl.nu/7398
  Replies (64) Good night (1538) Bad night (6574)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.

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  (404): I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life. http://tfl.nu/huxl
  Replies (168) Good night (6050) Bad night (6884)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home

  (419): View more from Ohio

  move.

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  (513): i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home (419): move. http://tfl.nu/91am
  Replies (19) Good night (1122) Bad night (7456)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.

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  (774): My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight. http://tfl.nu/ukm0
  Replies (20) Good night (4945) Bad night (1043)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.

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  (985): I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now. http://tfl.nu/zv6d
  Replies (6) Good night (5963) Bad night (1058)
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  (310): View more from California

  she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex

  (1-310): View more from California

  wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh

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  (310): she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex (1-310): wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh http://tfl.nu/mhlr
  Replies (17) Good night (1208) Bad night (4320)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate

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  (804): it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate http://tfl.nu/8imj
  Replies (18) Good night (1973) Bad night (4853)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal

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  (281): Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal http://tfl.nu/lnon
  Replies (20) Good night (3992) Bad night (1118)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I have no recollection of sleep choking you

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  (860): I have no recollection of sleep choking you http://tfl.nu/6fhf
  Replies (8) Good night (1682) Bad night (2323)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm dying.

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  (503): It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me. (541): I'm dying. http://tfl.nu/wgmh
  Replies (3) Good night (738) Bad night (984)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him

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  (412): we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him http://tfl.nu/r5so
  Replies (3) Good night (361) Bad night (164)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?

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  (828): Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive? http://tfl.nu/mouo
  Replies (0) Good night (329) Bad night (252)

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