dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?