Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show http://tfl.nu/yysf
  Replies (5) Good night (1976) Bad night (1439)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now. http://tfl.nu/1bza
  Replies (10) Good night (1094) Bad night (2531)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV" http://tfl.nu/slsr
  Replies (12) Good night (770) Bad night (2704)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (862): just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work http://tfl.nu/zbvu
  Replies (3) Good night (2454) Bad night (1074)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity http://tfl.nu/pmac
  Replies (6) Good night (3200) Bad night (1165)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious http://tfl.nu/rvtf
  Replies (35) Good night (4840) Bad night (2593)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking http://tfl.nu/bz34
  Replies (13) Good night (4594) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor. http://tfl.nu/beb7
  Replies (13) Good night (1830) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better http://tfl.nu/zbhj
  Replies (3) Good night (1577) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand http://tfl.nu/jj5a
  Replies (3) Good night (935) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma http://tfl.nu/6gw3
  Replies (5) Good night (698) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing http://tfl.nu/4jwd
  Replies (0) Good night (471) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again. http://tfl.nu/0rol
  Replies (8) Good night (704) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird http://tfl.nu/xqlb
  Replies (2) Good night (343) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now. http://tfl.nu/gkpn
  Replies (3) Good night (549) Bad night (276)

Randomize