I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I need dunkaroos back in my life.