even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.