im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids