I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
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bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
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bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children