i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.