But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.