Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.