I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize