Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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