i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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