RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize