tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
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She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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