dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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