At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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