I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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