I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
