my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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