Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
be right there i have to get my cape
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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