Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My breasts were aching with rage.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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