I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize