i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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