come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize