we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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