so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
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All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
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I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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