Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
