THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
