She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.