i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed