Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
someone owes me an orgasm
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.