my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
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your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
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$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.