Everything about him screamed your future.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
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What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
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Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex