is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
