I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed