From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
