it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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