Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Don't tell me you're on acid again