just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
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When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
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I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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