She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
