I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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