he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
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this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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