Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
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i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
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Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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