I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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