ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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