youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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