I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize