ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize