Don't make out with my wife yet
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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