You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
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He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
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Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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