I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
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i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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