was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
