idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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