Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
